But that doesn’t mean it isn’t frustrating at times.
I just got off the phone with a friend who is on maternity leave and having a rough day. The baby was fussing, and she had spent over two hours trying to get him and her two year old to nap. Even though she was exhausted, she was planning to make red velvet cupcakes from scratch when we got off the phone.
I kind of laughed at her, because baking is the LAST thing I’d do when I’m tired or stressed. But then she explained that she was just searching for something she could control, and I could totally relate.
Kids are so tricky. Baffling, really. And fussy babies are the hardest. I remember, with Adam and his reflux, I’d think I had him figured out, and he’d change on me again. I’d determine the best way to nurse him, get him to sleep, or keep him from spitting up, and it would last about 2 days before it quit working.
And then, he got bigger. And different challenges came. And we added another to the mix. You’d think, with time, I’d become a better mom. But still, no matter how many parenting experiments I take part in, I can’t get the desired results all the time. I seem to have little control over how well my kids sleep, whether or not they’re picky eaters, and how they react when a friend takes a toy from them.
I think that sometimes, we when feel extra “out-of-control” we try to find something we can control, in order to balance it all out.
I don’t think that this craving for control is a really negative thing, if you can keep in check. But, I’ll admit that sometimes, I want control of everything. At those times, I try to remember the serenity prayer.
Do you crave control? If so, how do you satisfy your cravings?
I went to a women's retreat a couple weekends ago. Sharon Hoffman was the speaker and out of all the things she said, this stuck the most:
ReplyDeleteThings under God's control are never out of control.
I'm trying to remember that on the screaming/velcro-baby days, and to let myself be under God's control. So that even if I can't control my child's fussiness or issues, I can control myself and how I react to them. Hope it helps you too!
I think I kind of am a control freak!! I just have to always KNOW what's going on... WHY it's going on... And when I don't I feel kind of insecure. Maybe it's our lifestyle (Army), maybe it's just how I am. I don't know, but I'm working on it lol.
ReplyDeleteI read the title of this post and thought it was about controlling cravings (of course the pregnant woman would think that.) :-) My mom always said (I'm paraphrasing), parenting can be made to be a lot harder than it already is (by trying to control the things we can't). We can lead by example, use logic, respect our children, and trust that they will turn out well. We don't control them, we guide them. So, for people who like to hold the reins, I guess it's logical to gravitate to the things you can control.
ReplyDeleteI read the title of this post and thought it was about controlling cravings (of course the pregnant woman would think that.) :-) My mom always said (I'm paraphrasing), parenting can be made to be a lot harder than it already is (by trying to control the things we can't). We can lead by example, use logic, respect our children, and trust that they will turn out well. We don't control them, we guide them. So, for people who like to hold the reins, I guess it's logical to gravitate to the things you can control.
ReplyDelete